What is that sound? Do you hear it ?.
Listen !
Surely you must hear what I am hearing.
But then again, maybe it is I who can only
hear this
sound, and feel it's hearts piercing.
It is the sound of crying,
the sound of a small child.
. .
Oh yes, I know you are right, it is
coming from within
me..
I knew this day would come.
The day when I would have
to stop and
could no longer run..
I knew I would have
to stop and face the past.
The past, and the memories of
the
Shadow would come at last..
I knew somehow, the time would come,
and knew it for
sure, when the crying begun.
They say to heal a tortured soul..
One must face that
which has caused the
pain and shattered the heart, and
left
in its place this empty hole. .
I now, on bended knee ask the great one
above, to guide
and strengthen me as
I start to journey, journey deep
inside
my tortured soul.
For I know it will be a long a rocky road.
I know what
caused this empty hole.
And I know who put it there, it
was done
without any thought or strife.
Listen! do you
hear it now?
The crying is getting louder with each
and every step. I can hear it plainly now.
Oh My Goodness, I recognize this little soul.
It is a
child, a girl child, of only five.
The child I left
behind, so very long ago.
I left so I could survive..
Sh-sh-sh child, I am here now, I have come
back..Please
take my hand, and come sit with me now.
Please forgive me for leaving you here in
this dark and
lonely place.
Together we will face the truth, and the
past,
together we will finish this at last.
As we sit here in the dark, the memories come
flooding
in, Hold Tight Child!, and together
we shall see.
Yes, I see him too,
the Shadow that came creeping
in night,
whispering tones of secrets and love..
tearing our heart and soul, with each and
every touch
and lie.
Yes, child I can remember wishing,
that I would just
die.
The memories come quicker now, we are older,
and
realize that the Shadow, is not what
everyone else thinks
he is..
We know he has another dark and sinister side.
But as we watch him with the family, his
whispers of
"No-one will believe you" and
"They will only hate you" ,
"Sh-s-s,
be quiet now, don't wake your Mother!"
we
realize, he might be right...
They all love him so... who
am I...
I am just the bad little girl, that
doesn't
say no..
Child, sh-s-s, we could not have know at
the time, that
he would have helpers, the
ones he called family...
His brothers, and cousins.
These were all suppose to
be, such very
good husbands. He must of told them,
that we were bad, and would not say no,
because when
we were alone, they too would
come, and whisper, his same
words of
secrets and love. Leaving our mind and
body
in a sick and dizzy swirl.
Reminding us that no-one would
believe,
a bad little girl...
Child listen to me. It was at this point,
I had to
leave you, It was my only way
to survive. I had to harden
myself, and
fight to keep my mind alive..
Please forgive me..
I see now that by leaving you here, I
left any hope, I
had of healing and
learning to cope..
I had to push it back, and out of my mind
and memory...
Pretend it didn't happen..
Never realizing what doing
this,
was going to bring. I needed to continue
on with
life, and keep grasping for
that elusive golden ring..
Now as I reach mid-life I see.
After broken marriages,
and broken dreams..
A life-time of bad choices, and still
never
being able to fill that cold and empty place.
It
was then my child I realized that peace
was not possible,
until I went back and healed
the little girl, I had left
behind..
I had to come for you.
The little girl inside
of me..
Child, let me now share with you what
little knowledge
I have seen..
It as not our fault. He was the adult,
we were the child.
He took away our childlike right
and
ablity to trust, and the strength and
wisdom to
say NO! It was not our fault,
these were cold, and brutal
assaults..
Child, tell me do you now understand and see ?
Then take
my hand, and walk with me.
Together we will start to
heal..
The Shadow is gone, and can no longer hurt.
But we will
send him this letter, so he
can see, that we have made it
and are going to heal..
For we see him now for what he was,
a preditor, and we
his victims...
It was not our fault ! And we want him
to see, that we are back together you and me !
This story is mine, I hope in writing it that
it might
reach out and help someone else,
who has a tortured soul..
Mine is not a unique story.
Unfortunately, there are
thousands of them..
That is the purpose of this site,
I want to do my part, and help bring the
problem of
child abuse, and child molestation
into the public eye..
It happens, every single day.. I was one
of the
fortunate ones. I am here and survived,
and able to tell
my story. There are literally
thousands, that are not as
lucky....
The growing numbers of abused and exploited
children
are staggering..
But the death toll is even more
sobbering..
Please be aware- - - Reach out in your community,
and
do something, anything, to help these children.
But most of
all Pray for them..
Those that survive... that they too
will find
someway to heal their tortured souls..
Thank you
Lady Fairiedust aka Helen
Please click on the link below, to see our newest
link
to our battle against Child Abuse..
**Warning** some of
the descriptions are very
graphic, so Parental Guidance is
suggested..
***Child Pornography site***
Please click on either one of my little angels
below, to
go and read their stories, or many more
just like them,
unfortunately, there are hundreds.
Please go and adopt one
to put on your web site.
Help us raise awareness to these
horrible crimes
against our children..Our Future!..Thank
you>
We have added a great Chilrens Resource Links
page. We
Call it the "Angels Resourse Links"
Please go and check it
out.There a alot
of wonderful links to choose from.. Thank
You!!
Please visit this site, they have some
wonderful
resources.. It is a beautiful
and informative site to see..
Thank you!!
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Graphics Acknowledgments:
This set was used with the Written Permission
By Mr. William Whitaker.. January 2003..
The name of this piece of Art Piece.
Is "recorder". He sent me the jpg of
316 x 400 pixels..
The original is in pastel and measures
about 32x40"
I honored his request not to make it
look glittery, or change the actual
Art Piece itself. He wants his work
done as he made it..
I thank you kind Sir for your permission.
Please see my Graphics page..
Music Playing: "Despair Midi"
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